Do They Think We're Stupid?

These are genuine instructions:

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication'

On packaging for a clothes iron:
'Do not iron clothes on body'.

On a Myer hairdryer:
'Do not use while sleeping'.

And here are some bad translations:

On a Taiwanese shampoo
'Use repeatedly for severe damage.'

On a Korean kitchen knife
'WARNING: Keep out of children.'

And then there are just the plain stupid:

On a frozen Chow Mein from China
'SERVING SUGGESTION: Defrost.'

On a New Zealand insect spray
'This product not tested on animals.'

On the BOTTOM of a Tesco's Tiramisu dessert
'Do not turn upside down'
 
Warning: Peanuts - May contain nuts.

Puma shoe box - Average Contents: 2

International Yacht Varnish - Not suitable for marine use. 

Birthday Card for a 2-year old - Not suitable for children under 3.

Superman outfit - Does not enable wearer to fly.

Child's Scooter - This product moves when used.

Sleeping Pills - Warning, may cause drowsiness.

Oldies are Goodies

So now Christmas is well and truly upon us: we know this because the eagerly-awaited John Lewis advert has been screened. Hence, it’s Christmas. The visual impact of that particular ad is amazing but when we think about some of the iconic ads that have been aired over the years, perhaps we better remember the words that accompany them. “Beanz Meanz Heinz” was conceived over a pub lunch in 1967. "Snap! Crackle! Pop!" was first thought up in 1932. “Does Exactly What It Says On the Tin” is 19 years old and is still going strong.

Of course, there are others that are also memorable, possibly for being horrendously annoying a very long time. “Waaaasssuuupppp?” is the obvious one that springs to mind. The ad featured a lot of men shouting the phrase down the phone to each other: but it became a worldwide phenomenon with millions of people copying it. Out of interest, do you remember the product?*

My point is that a memorable or catchy tagline is a major selling point for products and services but not many of us can afford a TV ad campaign (or, for that matter, a highly-trained, possibly overpaid ad executive from a top agency). Most of us can, however, afford a website to advertise and publicise what we have to offer. A well-written, carefully-worded webpage is one of the cheapest and most effective ways to get your message across and to move up the rankings on Google. If you aren’t too good with words, then let someone else do it. Why? “Because You’re Worth It” (1971).

*Budweiser.